APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE – This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, and current medical report from your doctor. Current church authority recommendation will be accepted as extra credit.
Name: _________________________ Date of birth: ________
Height: _____ Weight: _____ IQ: _____ GPA: _____
Social Security #: ___________ Driver’s License #: _________
Boy Scout Rank:_______________________________________
If less than Eagle, explain: ______________________________________
Home address: ________________________________________________
Work address: ________________________________________________
Wage or salary: _____________________
Check all that you own:
a van _____
a truck with oversized tires and/or camper shell _____
waterbed _____
motorcycle _____
Check all that you have:
color-altered hair _____
tatoo _____
piercings _____
(Note: If you checked any of the above, discontinue application and leave premised immediately.)
Please enclose answers to the following essay questions on separate paper, typeset in 10 point helvetica, single spaced, three-page minimum.
What does late ? mean to you?
What do the words do not touch my daughter ? mean to you?
When would be the best time to interview your father and mother?
Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely all answers are confidential.
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
_________________________________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________ (Note: If the answer to the above is covered by a Victorian Era swimsuit, discontinue and leave the premises immediately. Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
________________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (such action will void this application). If your application is rejected you will be notified by two beings wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You might want to start praying now).
-Author unknown
Name: _________________________ Date of birth: ________
Height: _____ Weight: _____ IQ: _____ GPA: _____
Social Security #: ___________ Driver’s License #: _________
Boy Scout Rank:_______________________________________
If less than Eagle, explain: ______________________________________
Home address: ________________________________________________
Work address: ________________________________________________
Wage or salary: _____________________
Check all that you own:
a van _____
a truck with oversized tires and/or camper shell _____
waterbed _____
motorcycle _____
Check all that you have:
color-altered hair _____
tatoo _____
piercings _____
(Note: If you checked any of the above, discontinue application and leave premised immediately.)
Please enclose answers to the following essay questions on separate paper, typeset in 10 point helvetica, single spaced, three-page minimum.
What does late ? mean to you?
What do the words do not touch my daughter ? mean to you?
When would be the best time to interview your father and mother?
Fill in the blanks: Please answer freely all answers are confidential.
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is
_________________________________________________________
When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice is _____________________ (Note: If the answer to the above is covered by a Victorian Era swimsuit, discontinue and leave the premises immediately. Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)
What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
________________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (such action will void this application). If your application is rejected you will be notified by two beings wearing red suits and carrying pitch forks. (You might want to start praying now).
-Author unknown
